The Downside of Striving

The Downside of Striving

For the majority of my life, I followed a simple principle: Effort (lots of it) = Achievement = Happiness/Satisfaction. Initially, it works. The harder you work, the more you achieve, and every achievement delivers a sense of happiness/satisfaction.However, as most...
The Problem with Perfect

The Problem with Perfect

For flawed humans, being completely free of defects and flaws is completely impossible to attain. Yet, we constantly strive.  The Perfection Trap author Thomas Curran makes a compelling point that the root of all this effort is the fear of failure, rejection and...
You are flawed

You are flawed

I find myself saying this more than ever to audiences, clients, and friends. Interestingly enough, instead of being offended with this insight, most people loosen up, relieved that this truth is finally out in the open. Imperfection is the characteristic we all share...
Fear or Love

Fear or Love

Many years ago, a mentor of mine pointed out that every decision we make is driven by one of two forces – fear or love. As you can imagine, behavior driven by love is more likely to bring you joy. In addition, the decisions influenced by love have a better chance of...
New Year, New You

New Year, New You

The first week of the new year is an interesting time for overachievers.  We typically embrace the changing calendar as an opportunity to become a new person. They claim that this is the year to go to bed early, quit drinking, work out and stop eating ice cream after...
This is an unusual year for me

This is an unusual year for me

Typically, I have a detailed sheet of all my personal and professional goals nicely laid out for 2024.   It’s a very safe and comfortable place for me to be.   But this summer, I went fly-fishing for the first time.   Naturally, I practiced, watched...
Think Small

Think Small

Sometimes the complex problems facing our world (both local and international) seem overwhelming and impossible to solve. That doesn’t keep an overachiever from myself like trying. I’m convinced that if I just read the right book or join another board, I can magically...
Just a little bit more…

Just a little bit more…

Giving Tuesday has tried to teach us that we can get by with a measly offering that doesn’t move the needle for them… or for our own joy. “Just a little more.” – most people (including myself) This is the answer we give when asked the...
Melody Beattie’s Challenge

Melody Beattie’s Challenge

Unfortunately, gratitude on Thanksgiving barely lasts more than a couple of hours after we’ve finished our second helping of pumpkin pie.    The truth is, there’s nothing more valuable you can do to bring more joy to your life than to develop a grateful...
Resist the Instant Solution

Resist the Instant Solution

In a world offering immediate solutions to just about any problem, it feels like “hard work” is for suckers who don’t know how to navigate Google. At some point today, while scrolling through social, you’ll be tempted to click on an offer for quick and easy advice to...
Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

This Buddhist saying packs a ton of wisdom into six powerful words. Embracing its meaning can change your life. Intellectually, we understand that there’s no way to go through life without an occasional kick to the gut, no matter how safe you play it or the controls...
Imagine for a second…

Imagine for a second…

Imagine that I gave you the opportunity to be known as exceptionally kind OR wildly successful. Which would you choose? (Yes, I recognize you can be both, but for this example, you’ve got to choose.) When I first considered the question, my mind jumped to… “Of course,...
We (humans) love solving problems

We (humans) love solving problems

Inherently, there’s nothing wrong with our desire to find a solution to a challenge. The problem comes a few minutes after we’ve identified the issue. That’s when our brain makes the following fatal assumption – the best/only way to address this problem is through...
3 Simple Steps

3 Simple Steps

Want an easy life? Follow three simple steps. All the personal and professional development books/webinars/podcast/workshops/etc. follow the same 3-step process (trust me, I’ve read most): You deserve more than your life is currently delivering.   This isn’t fair...
Overcoming Hard-Wiring

Overcoming Hard-Wiring

A few weeks ago, I went fly fishing for the first time.   After a short lesson, the guide (whom I had just met) made an interesting observation noting that I was “wound pretty tight” and would need to loosen up a bit to enjoy the sport. In just two hours, a...
Dr. Mike Rucker: The Fun Habit

Dr. Mike Rucker: The Fun Habit

  Dr. Mike Rucker Dr. Mike Rucker is an organizational psychologist, behavioral scientist, and charter member of the International Positive Psychology Association. He has been academically published in the International Journal of Workplace Health Management. His...
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