The next time you make a mistake (and you will), resist the blame game. Try these four steps instead. 

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Last week, I made a big mistake.

Initially, my gut instinct was to look for someone or something else to blame for the screw up. 

It soon became abundantly clear that I was at fault.

Moments after this realization, a deep sense of shame began to settle in. I felt awful and desperately wanted to build a time machine to go back and rectify the situation. 

The good news is that I’ve had a lot of practice doing stupid stuff. This experience has helped me develop a set of simple rules to lessen the pain that comes with failure. 

1. Own it. The quicker you admit fault to yourself, the quicker the healing can begin.
2. Apologize fast. Let the person(s) know that you recognize your error and will learn from it. (Don’t ask for forgiveness, that’s just a short-term ploy to make you feel better.)
3. Embrace the learning. Document your lessons in writing or share with a friend.
4. Sit with it. It’s supposed to sting a bit; you don’t learn without pain.

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—CJ McClanahan

Speaker | Advisor | Recovering Overachiever

CJ McClanahan